Help, I'm Alive
by fromthehillbythelake
Summary: Keli AU. There is nothing sweet or gentle about them. They destroy everything, including themselves and each other. Two beasts can't be caged for long. Lemons. ONESHOT.


**Okay, so confession: Keli is another one of my crack!ships hehe. This is an AU fic in which Keli has hot sex. Basically, the only way I figured they could ;)**

**Both Eli and Katie are assassins, and they fell in love while on a job. Katie with Jake, Eli with Clare. Their organization found out, and killed Clare and Jake. Katie and Eli don't like each other, hate each other even...but they understand each other's pain. They're now back at their facility, being re-indoctrinated before they're trusted to do more assassination missions (very loosely based on Dark Angel).**

**Also, I'd recommend listening to "Help I'm Alive," by Metric, the Styte Remix, while reading this. I got inspiration from that as well :)**

**Hope you enjoy this!**

**I don't own a thing.**

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-x-

She threw her plate right at his head during lunch hour.

Everyone else chalked it up to Katie being, well..._Katie_.

Not him though.

He looked at her like he knew.

They already had to pull her off him during a sparring session earlier that morning.

_I tremble  
They're gonna eat me alive  
If I stumble  
They're gonna eat me alive_

He sneaks into her quarters late at night.

Their nightly ritual.

"Get out," she seethes.

He shuts the door behind him.

"Get. Out!" she barks, thrusting him against the door, a knife to his neck.

He smirks.

She bares her teeth, nicking his skin.

He grinds his jaw as a trickle of blood falls.

She drops the blade.

_Can you hear my heart  
Beating like a hammer  
Beating like a hammer_

She pulls him against her, her back pressed to the wall. His leather jacket is the first thing to go. She starts biting along his neck; he growls.

She sucks along his jaw, almost at his lips when he turns her around roughly.

They never kiss.

A kiss is intimate, saved for lovers.

She almost forgot.

He pushes her against the wall with a hard shove. The plaster is cold on her face. She moans, _nownownow._

He rips off her belt. Step one.

He fumbles with her zipper, panting in her ear. Step two.

He pushes her jeans down just above her knees. Step three.

She bites her lip when he scratches her skin, so eager.

He enters her and she hisses, never quite ready.

_Help I'm alive  
My heart keeps beating like a hammer _

His thrusts are hard. Rough. Fast. Hitting her right _theretherethere_.

Her breath gets caught, and she feels like she's choking.

He grabs her breast with one hand, circles her clit with the other.

She purrs, her head rolling back on his shoulder.

_Hard to be soft  
Tough to be tender  
Come take my pulse the pace is on a runaway train_

"Don't think of him," he commands. "Don't fucking think of him."

She reaches an arm back to grab his hair so it hurts.

She rolls her hips, and his hands make their way to her waist.

_Bruises_, she thinks. And smiles.

_Good_, he thinks, and grips her tighter to wipe that smug pout off her face.

_Help I'm alive  
My heart keeps beating like a hammer  
Beating like a hammer _

They're on the floor now. She's on top, pushing on his chest for leverage. His eyes are fluttering, his breathing ragged.

She scratches; red, angry lines.

He likes the welts. Now he looks like what he feels.

Animals, the both of them. Wounded, broken animals fucking because if they killed each other, they'd have no one.

She's holding her breasts, keening.

"_Fuck, _fuck, FUCK_, fuckfuckfuck_..." over and over she screams.

They don't look at each other.

_If we're still alive_  
_My regrets are few_  
_If my life is mine_  
_What shouldn't I do?_

She's bent over the table now.

Open and willing, and wishing he was someone else.

He spits on his fingers, touches them to her slit.

Her legs are shaking.

He grips her ass, smacking once.

Her nails scrape the edges of the table.

He wants to taste her; wants her on her knees looking up at him with her big blue-

_No oral_, they swore. No kissing, no affection. Just fucking. And he doesn't want big _blue_ eyes staring at him. Katie seems to favour 'doggie,' but he thinks it's only because they don't have to look at each other. He respects her for that. But he'll never thank her.

He slows his pace now, teasing her.

She likes it; he's good at what he does.

_I get wherever I'm going  
I get whatever I need  
While my blood's still flowing  
And my heart still beats_

He's close, she knows. So she bites his shoulder to remind him that she has to come first.

"Katie," he rasps, "_Katie_-" and she slaps him hard on the cheek.

"Don't say my name," she snarls. "Don't _ever_ say my name."

_Help I'm alive  
My heart keeps beating like a hammer_

"Clare," he utters, continuing to thrust. "_ClareClareClare_." A mantra.

And her whole body locks and tightens, and she's immobile for a second.

"_Jake_!" she cries, her voice quaking as she comes.

_Hard to be soft  
Tough to be tender _

They lie in silence next to each other.

"You can leave now," she says after a while.

He rolls off the bed and starts putting his clothes back on.

"Same time tomorrow?" he smirks, and for some reason, it hurts.

_Come take my pulse the pace is on a runaway train_

She turns over, away from him.

"This is sick," he begins softly. She doesn't want _soft _anything from him. "I feel...sick," he tries again. It's the closest he'll ever come to saying sorry.

_Help I'm alive  
My heart keeps beating like a hammer  
Beating like a hammer _

"I feel fucked," she answers, cold and calculating.

_If we're still alive  
My regrets are few  
If my life is mine  
What shouldn't I do?_

His smile is dangerous. And she feels a little satisfied that he seems to hate her.

_I get wherever I'm going  
I get whatever I need  
While my blood's still flowing_

"Thanks for the fuck," he says. Sharp. Intending to cut.

She's all smiles, signaling she's about to rip him apart.

_And my heart's still  
Beating like a hammer _

"It must _really_ be hard knowing that Clare only loved you because she didn't know that you're broken." She always went too far.

But she couldn't stop. They were going to be pumped full of meds again tomorrow; her begging for more, him begging for less. This was as real as anything ever got between them. She had to remind him not to be gentle with her. She had to make him hurt as much as she did. "Poor Eli...even broke _her_ in the end, didn't you?"

_Beating like a hammer  
Beating like a hammer  
Beating like a hammer_

She almost wants to die when she sees the pain in his eyes.

She wishes Clare was alive again, just for him. And Jake for her. But it doesn't do to dwell on dreams.

She wishes he could be what she wants, what she needs, what she loves.

She wishes he wouldn't come through that door every night, so at least one of them can stay sane.

She hates that she breaks everything she touches.

"It's funny," he laughs bitterly, "because no matter how much you want people to hate you, it'll never come close to how much you hate yourself, _sweetheart_."

Her face falls.

Only Jake ever called her sweetheart. _JakeJakeJake._

"Oh, and by the way," Eli manages lowly, turning the door handle. "They made me watch their tapes today. I had to see them die."

He slinks out the door before he can see anything tender from her. He doesn't want anything _tender_ from her.

Maybe tomorrow will be the day she finally kills him.

But tomorrow, when she's wet and wanting, he'll tell her he lied.

At least one of them should stay sane.

_Help I'm alive  
My heart keeps beating like a hammer_

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**Oh, this was angsty! eh? Well, they are the two beasts in the fantastic four, so it's all we can expect :( Review lovely? :)**


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